


Bar None

by Waelkyring



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, Warning: canon typical language, i just saw this post and was like "yes. This is Shitty. I must write this", many imminent pies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 18:10:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20157877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waelkyring/pseuds/Waelkyring
Summary: It's six days until the bar exam and Shitty Knight is freaking out. Luckily, Lardo has got his back.





	Bar None

**Author's Note:**

> I was on tumblr today and I saw this post and I was immediately like "Oh my god, it's Shitty." So naturally I had to write this. Enjoy!

Lardo picks up her phone on the first ring, her eyes never leaving the man pacing in front of her. 

“Tell it to me straight girl, how bad is it?” Bitty’s familiar drawl comes in through the other side of the line. 

“It’s pretty fucking bad, dude. Like not quite defcon 1, but getting too close to it for comfort.” She replies, gaze still transfixed on Shitty as he attempts to wear a trench in their living room floor, muttering all the while. 

“How so? And how many pies should I send?”

“He’s losing track of time. The other day I got a text from him that said ‘why the fuck did no one tell me it was Friday?’ Not gonna lie, it was kinda fucking hilarious, even if a bit concerning. And at least five pies, maybe more.” 

“Six pies, got it. I’m gonna go get started on those. I suppose we should have seen this coming, after all the bar exam is in less than a week.” 

Lardo shruggs, “I guess, but Shitty’s also like the best test taker I’ve ever met even if he does have a tendency to catastrophize things. I personally think he’s gonna be fine, he has been studying his brains out for months after all, but he doesn’t listen. And maybe make that seven, Rans and Holtzy get back from their business trip tomorrow morning and you know how hungry they get after traveling. If we want these pies to last till Shits actually takes the test, we’re gonna need a lot of baked goods.” Bitty laughs and Lardo grins. Where would any of them be without the support system they had all found with each other? 

“Aye aye. Imma let you go, you make sure our boy doesn’t die in the next week and I’ll make sure y’all are properly fed.” 

“Thanks Bits, love ya.”

“Love you too, girl. Byeeee!” 

Lardo puts her phone down. Throughout that entire conversation, her eyes had never left Shitty, and he hadn’t seemed to notice the conversation happened at all, still lost in his law school panic induced haze. He had spent the better part of an hour pacing around the room, muttering things like “I do not know the things,” or “Stop dying. Wills are too confusing everyone stop dying.” all the while ignoring the world around him. However, the sound of Lardo’s phone being set down on the table seems to draw him back to the present. With a start, he turns to look at his girlfriend, walks over to her, very purposefully puts both his hands on her shoulders, looks her straight in the eye and says,

“Everyone just fucking stop owning things. Property is stupid and no one understands it. Just stop. Move to the woods. Be free.” And with that, Lardo promptly loses it. 

“Oooooh my goooood dude! Have you heard yourself? You’ve flown off the proverbial handle!” She manages to choke out through her laughter. Shitty just stares at her for a long moment before he finally cracks a small smile, the first one Lardo had seen in days. That small smile grew and grew and before too long, he had joined her in uncontrollable laughter, leaning against Lardo to keep from falling to the ground, Lardo gripping the edge of the table she sat on with one hand, the other clutching her stomach. It takes a few minutes before either of them comes even close to composing themselves well enough to say anything else. 

“Seriously though,” Lardo levels Shitty with a pointed look, “You’re going into major panic mode when you and I both know deep down you don’t need to. You’re gonna do fine. If anyone can pass the bar their first time, it’s you and we all know it, including you.” Shitty leans his head on her shoulder and sighs. 

“Man Lards, you’re right. Which shouldn’t be a surprise, you’re always right, but still. Our legal system is shit, our country is a disaster, and the sooner I pass this stupid test, the sooner I can get out there and try to fix some of this mess. I just really want to do some good for this world, you know? And I guess the pressure of that, of how many people might continue to suffer if I have to wait to take the test again is getting to me.”

“I know, but driving yourself crazy over a test and burning yourself out before your career has even begun isn’t gonna help anyone, least of all yourself. Now how about this, you go and read a couple more chapters of your book because I know you and you won’t be able to let yourself even think about stopping before you’ve done at least something productive today, and then we’ll pop on over to Providence to spend an evening with two of our best friends in the world and get those seven pies I convinced Bitty to bake for us so that you can take a very well deserved break. You’ve earned it.” Shitty breaks out into the biggest grin and wraps his arms around Lardo’s waist, pulling her close. 

“God Lards, what would I do without you?”

“Oh, die for sure. There is no way in hell that you could ever survive without me. Now get reading, we have some pie in our future and I’d like it to be sooner rather than later.” She says, smacking him lightly on the back. 

“Yes ma’am.” Shitty replies, finally letting himself release her and stands up straight. 

“Now go and save the world. God knows somebody has to.” And with that, Shitty turns back to his studies, suddenly feeling lighter and more confident than he had in ages.


End file.
